Winston Says Some Funny Things

Sometimes Winston says the funniest things! I’ve made a point to jot them down the last few months. I’m sure I’ve missed some, but enjoy the ones I remembered to catch.

[before breakfast one day] "Mom, I want oatmeal. The maple and brown sugar kind. And honey toast. And a pear. And kidney beans."

"Even if I'm not wearing my batman shirt, I'm still batman."
"I'm not Winston, I'm batman."
"This is not a stick it is my bat-stick"

Winston: "What does banana start with?"

Melanie responding: "Buh-nana"

Winston: "Oh, a B! Like Britton Batman."

"Mom, can I have a snack?"

Melanie: "No, we're having dinner. Come sit and eat with us."

Winston: "But I'm not hungry."

Melanie: "Then will you please go grab me that?"

Winston: "But I'm hungry."

"Mom, can I have a cough drop?"

Melanie: "Why?"

Winston: "Because my tummy hurts."

Melanie: "How come little boys stink after they go outside to play?"

Winston: "I want to smell you. [sniff] You smell like fruit snacks!!!"

Melanie: "Winston, will you play with my hair?"

Winston, as he pushes hair down over my ear into my face, frantically asked: "Mom, what is in you hair!?"

Melanie: "It's my ear."

Winston: "Oh."

"Mom, my sweettarts smell like sweettarts!"

Melanie: "Winston, go back to bed it's not 7am yet."

Winston: (Storms back to room, sits on bed and stares at the clock, whimpering) "Mom, why is it taking so long?"

(He isn’t allowed to come out of his room until his clock turns to a 7. This was 1 day after daylights savings, so 6am was the old 7 am...who knows how long the poor kid sat waiting for the clock to turn.)

"We have to find a cookie because we don't have one."

(Sapphire grunted and growled)
Winston: (giggles) “She did that to make me laugh."


Winston praying: "Heavenly Father,“ [pause] “thank you that we did stuff.” [longer pause] “Amen."

Melanie: "Winston, what are you doing?"
Winston: "Nothing."
Melanie: "What are supposed to be doing?"
Winston: "Doing what I already did."


Winston: (Giggles)
Melanie: “What's so funny?”
Winston: “Sapphire is looking at me.”
Melanie: “Oh, does she have big eyes?”
Winston: “Yeah, she looks like Toothless” (Toothless is the dragon on How to Train Your Dragon)

“Mom, do you know where dragons come from?”
Melanie: “Where?”
Winston: “A volcano and then a rock wall.”


Primary Teacher: “Winston does your dad hold the priesthood?”
Winston: “No, he holds my mom.”


Winston: “Haha! My poop is soup!”
Melanie: “It's called diarrhea.”
Winston: “What?”
Melanie: “Diarrhea.”
Winston: “Oh.”


“Mom, look what I can do.” (As he does “I love you” in sign language with his hand)
Melanie: “Oh, yep, that means I love you in sign language.”
Winston: “No, it's how spiderman shoots his web.”


Winston: “I have razor sharp claws like batman.”
Melanie: “I didn't know Batman had razor sharp claws.”
Winston: “He doesn't. But me batman, I do. Don't touch them they are really sharp.”