Nico’s Home Birth Story

SHORT Version

I experienced random Braxton Hick’s contractions throughout February—some days more than others. Nothing regular, but still had me worry enough to rest a little more than I usually do during 35-37 weeks. When 38 weeks hit, Sam and I went hiking a few different times with the kiddos. I did Zumba full out, sat and bounced around on an exercise ball, and moved around as much as my hips would let me.

Tuesday evening March 1^st, baby teased me with 3 hours of random contractions. Thursday morning March 3^rd (39 weeks) he teased again with 3 hours of random contractions. Early Friday morning, I woke up at 1:47am with contractions. They were steady, 4-6 minutes apart, even as I laid down. Called the midwife at 3:03am. Dilated to 6cm when checked at 4am. Dilated to 7cm when checked at 4:30am. Got in the blow-up water birth tub around 5:45am. Water broke on its own around 6:40am. Baby born at 7:00am on the dot in the water. 6 lbs 13 oz, 20 ½ inches. Our other kids were asleep the whole time, and came downstairs within a few minutes after he was born. It was a great experience!

LONG Version

start at the very beginning

The beginning of this story actually begins about 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my first and was asked by a friend, “What’s your birth plan?” To which I responded, “Uh, birth plan?” I was then handed this pamphlet  that really opened my eyes and lead me to wanting to have a natural labor and delivery.

Around the same time, I had a few friends planning home births and/or birthing naturally at birthing centers. I read their birth stories cautiously and with wide-eyes. I remember the first few made me very squeamish knowing the baby inside of me would have to come out [gulp]. But the more I read, the more comfortable I became with the process, and the more it helped ease my concerns. However, I was perfectly content with my doctor and having a hospital birth; home births were fine, but not for me.

For details on my hospital natural labor and deliveries with my first two children, see here and here, plus my own two cents on natural birthing written years ago here.

We had good experiences at the hospitals and really felt a great connection with our family doctor. Unfortunately, Dr. Joseph B. Liddle passed away after a battle with cancer about 1 year after our 2^nd baby was born. I was definitely saddened; he was so young; he had been my doctor for 13 years (basically all of his time out of med school and training); he had delivered our two children; our family loved going to appointments with him; he was a great man. His passing meant I had to find a new doctor. I spent some time sifting through what our insurance covered and learned there are almost no family practitioners that deliver babies any more. Malpractice insurance rates are too high; it’s all left to specialists. When I learned this, I stalled in my search. I didn’t feel like sorting through the many OB-GYNs   there are in the Salt Lake area (and finding one supportive and encouraging of natural birthing); I’d figure it out later.

When I learned I was expecting baby #3, I decided to see what my insurance covered as far as midwives. As I searched online, there was one that popped up with a birth center. I read Rebecca Williams’, CNW, MSN, website which had all her stats and her training and sent her an email to see if she was accepting new patients. We met and both Sam and I felt like she would be a great fit for us. She has a beautiful birth center and we figured we’d utilize it. But, as pregnancy progressed, and knowing how quickly I deliver babies, the idea of a home birth became more appealing to both of us and we decided to do it.

We mostly kept it a secret because we knew there would be resistance from members of our family and some friends. When asked what hospital we were delivering at, we’d say, “Oh, our midwife has a birth center and doesn’t deliver in hospitals.” One of the worst things we as humans do is tell horror stories and “you-can’t-do-that-because-of-this” stories instead of sharing support and encouragement. We felt confident knowing our previous labor and deliveries, Rebecca’s track record, and that all signs of my pregnancy were normal, low-risk.

Early on a Sunday morning near the beginning of February (I was about 35 weeks along) I experienced my first constant contractions. I took it easy that day, and they didn’t stick around. This happened once a week or so for the majority of February. At my 36 ½ week checkup, I was dilated to 1 cm, but firm. Labor wasn’t going to happen soon. Once I hit 37 weeks, I stopped worrying picked up my pace with Zumba again, attending classes and working out at home. At 38 weeks, Sam and I took the kiddos on a few hikes. During the next week, I spent time doing yoga and Zumba, as usual, but also took Sapphire on longer walks along the Jordan River Parkway and to play at the parks. Sam even massaged pressure points in my legs, feet and hands that can help induce labor. Not to mention time alone together. In bed. You get the idea--we wanted our baby out.

On Tuesday evening March 1^st (38 ½ weeks), I had my first long stretch of contractions, lasting a little longer than 3 hours, but only when I was standing. I was cleaning the house and helping the kids with a variety of activities, so I was mostly up and about. When the kids went to bed, I had Sam blow up the water bath that Rebecca had given to us and I called Rebecca. My contractions weren’t regular or increasing in intensity, so she said to call her back if they did either. Her thought was they were “getting organized” but not yet serious. Sure enough, about 30 minutes later they totally stopped.

Thursday morning (39 weeks) Sapphire and I headed to the parkway to walk and play at the parks. I had contractions all during that time, but very similar to the previous Tuesday. When I drove home they stopped but resumed while walking around in the home. Around 3 hours after the first contraction that morning they stopped completely. I spent the rest of the day making a delicious crock pot Chicken Tikka Masala and finishing some tasks for work that couldn’t wait. I hoped the baby would come soon, but really had no idea. The next day Winston didn’t have school, so I talked to the kids about going to visit Grandma for the day before meeting with Rebecca for my 39 week appointment. Thursday evening Winston had parent-teacher conferences and we again went to the park to let them run around, before going home and heading to bed.

real labor begins

I was having a dream that some of my employees were emailing reasons why I needed to vote for Donald Trump. One employee after another emailed me, and with each email I read, I shuddered. Then I realized those shudders were contractions. I woke up and noticed the clock: 1:47am. I used the bathroom, went back to bed thinking they would stop, and chuckled at the thought that Donald Trump put me into labor. The contractions didn’t go away. I pulled out my phone and starting timing them. They were about 30-40 seconds in length and 4 – 6 minutes apart. I almost fell back asleep with each one, but when they came I had to focus on deep breathing. I timed for about an hour and then woke up Sam and called Rebecca at 3:03am. We headed downstairs to our family room and looking at the clock I guessed the baby would come by 5am, judging on my other deliveries.

As we waited for Rebecca, Sam got everything ready to fill up the tub, and moved everything else out of the room and gave me a blessing. I leaned on an exercise ball, rolling and swaying back and forth. A little before 4am, Rebecca arrived and walked in reciting the nursery rhyme Monday’s Child, “Friday’s child is loving and giving.”

By 4am, Rebecca was ready—all her equipment was moved in, the tub was being filled. She checked me—6cm and “stretchy.” We discussed breaking my water, knowing it would speed things up. But I already had 2 labors with water broken and I wanted to see what it would be like without breaking it. So, I went another 30 minutes (4:30 by this time) and had Rebecca check me again—7cm, with a bulging water sac. I decided not to break it. The contractions weren’t intense. I could breathe through them as I moved from ball to squats, to child’s pose, to standing and swaying. Some contractions were similar to menstrual cramps, others were in my low back, but most were a rumble or surge in my lower abdomen. Rebecca put some menthol oil on my low back which cooled it and eased any tension. There seemed to be more time between each contraction than I ever had with my other labors. I knew without that intensity I wasn’t close enough to have the baby by 5am.

So, from 4:30-6am, Sam and Rebecca chatted about some of his running adventures while I moved around from ball to floor to swaying and frequently used the bathroom. Rebecca occasionally monitored the heart rate of the baby. Sometimes it was during a contraction, sometimes in the water, sometimes during a rest. He was doing great! A little before 6am I noticed the contractions were intensifying. I think they were still about as far apart, but each one was more productive. Occasionally I could even feel the baby moving down inside of me—something I never felt with my other babies.

transition and delivery

I started to get hot, which reminded me of the last stretch before my other babies were born. I decided it was time to get in the tub. The water was warm and felt excellent on my low back during the next few contractions—especially the hot water Sam turned on to bring the temperature back up. Rebecca rubbed more menthol oil on my back (and my chest because I was very congested with allergies), and also added clary sage to the water, which supposedly speeds up labor. She also put a wet, cold towel around my shoulders—which felt wonderful. During contractions she used a cup to pour water over my back, which helped me remember to relax my shoulders and give in to the contractions. The contrast of the hot water pouring and cold towel felt great on my skin. After about 25-30 minutes of this tub time, I got out one more time to use the bathroom. I had some strong contractions while upstairs and Sam came to make sure I would make it back downstairs.

By then I was getting very warm and unsure I wanted to get back in the warm water. I headed to the door leading out to the garage to get some cool air. I had a very strong contraction standing in the door and headed back to the couch to lean on the arm during the contraction. This might have been my first vocal moaning through a contraction. Rebecca massaged my shoulders and rubbed my back during this contraction, which felt so nice. Rebecca must have been afraid I’d either break the water or the baby might be born right there, because she put a bunch of disposable absorber cloths and towels under me. I went back to the door of the garage for cool air one more time before getting in the tub. It was about 6:40am. I realized we had been lucky that the kids were still asleep in their beds, but that wouldn’t last much longer. I asked Rebecca to break my water. She suggested I reach myself and see if I could feel it. I reached up but couldn’t feel anything, no water sac, no baby head. Rebecca reached for her instrument when my water broke all by itself.

During the next contractions I had a difficult time getting comfortable. Oh, how I remembered those same feelings of searching for a way to position my body to work through the contractions with my other labors. I knew this was the end—I was so close. And I was so uncomfortable. But I could feel some weight or movement of the baby. I kept waiting to feel the urge to push, but it wasn’t there yet. Just intense pressure during the next few contractions as I tried to adjust my position from kneeling in the tub, to squatting, to being on hands and knees. 

As one intense contraction started, I shifted back into a squat and that was an immediate feeling of pain, so I stayed on my knees and raised my hands to lean over the tub. “I need something,” I said, and Rebecca grabbed my hands. That was it—I could squeeze her hands and pull through the contractions while Sam leaned over the tub and pressed on my low back. That contraction or the next was the first urge I had to push. Man, that feeling this time was awful! If you want graphic description, here you go: it felt like I needed to poop. Not just a simple poop—I needed to push quickly-or-else, no matter that it felt like a bowling ball would erupt through my flesh. I think I even said, “I hate this feeling. It feels like I have to poo—why does it have to feel that way?” Rebecca told me to ask God about that.

So, I had a few of those awful-feeling contractions as I searched for the best position, trying to rest during the breaks instead of thinking of how strong the next contraction would be. Sapphire was born with me standing and squatting and it was not the intense need-to-poop feeling, but with this labor each time I leaned into a squat position my body protested. So, on my knees leaning forward was how I was to stay. I gave in to the urge and pushed with the next 2 contractions and thought for sure the baby was crowning, but I reached to feel and there was no head. “It’s not working” is something I think I said. Rebecca said my rectum had flattened, meaning the head was on its last bend out. Rebecca reminded me to moan deeply for the next push, and boy oh boy did I feel baby’s head crowning. Quickly moving, but ring-of-fire burning. I needed Rebecca’s hand and it felt as though Sam couldn’t push on my back hard enough, but Rebecca could only give me one hand because the other was supporting the baby’s head as she told me not to push, to slow down and wait for the next contraction. I wanted the baby out, but I could feel what she meant and I didn’t want to tear. So I breathed deeply, the next contraction not coming soon enough. 

Then it came and the head emerged, completely underwater. Sam chuckled as he could see his face, lips all puckered out in a kissy face. Rebecca said he had lots of hair and told me to look. I leaned my head down to see, but my belly was in the way and I was too slanted forward to see down below, but I could feel it with my hand—and there was a lot of hair! I rubbed his little head and felt some of the vernix glide off into the water. Rebecca grabbed a photo, “You’re going to want to see this.” 

I again wanted to push but she encouraged me to wait for the next contraction. His head emerged at 6:58, and Rebecca commented, “Will he be a 6:59 baby or a 7:00 baby?” I was surprised to feel my body pause. There was still an uncomfortable feeling with baby’s head out, but my body was resting for the final contraction. Finally the next contraction came and I felt his shoulders slightly twist and then that familiar release of pressure as he flopped out of me (that release feels so nice after all those need-to-poop feelings—believe me!).

It was exactly 7:00am. Rebecca pushed him toward me in the water and said, “Catch him.” I looked down and oh! How I wish I had a photo of this sweet new baby gliding in the water toward my knees! I picked him up and kissed him and held him close as I sat back against the tub. I was so happy to have him in my arms (and not against my rectum!) and to have him in our family. [I didn’t cry then—probably too much adrenaline—but I am shedding tears now remembering that sweet moment.] He cried a little, but was wide-eyed and content as soon as a warm wet towel was draped over him in the tub.

From the time my water broke to birth time was only twenty minutes. I commented that if there is a next time, I’m breaking that water earlier! Not long after that I reflected again on those intense 20 minutes of pressure and discomfort, chuckled and said, “I’m never doing that again.” [And now, of course, there is this familiar after-birth high that wants to try it again! Why can pain have that effect?]

meeting siblings 

At 7:03am, Winston came down the stairs definitely looking surprised. We always tell Winston to go back to his room until it is a 7 on his clock (otherwise he is up too early), so out he came as soon as it was. We showed him the baby and asked if he heard anything but he said no and was surprised and excited his little brother was born in that tub he had seen the days before. At 7:08 I heard Sapphire’s door open and I called her to come downstairs. It was sweet to have them there so soon after the baby was born to meet him and welcome him to our family. I thought the baby would have been born sooner, based on my other deliveries, but it was great timing.

Winston called my mom and Sam’s mom to tell them the baby was here. He was excited to be the one to tell them. He said it was born in the tub at home, but Sam’s mom didn’t hear that part. My mom knew because she asked me flat out a couple weeks before if we were having it at home.

after birth and cleanup

We allowed the umbilical cord to stop pulsing completely before Sam cut it. There are many benefits of doing so, including allowing blood from the placenta to flow into the baby, with many good nutrients that they are continuing to study and learn about (like a natural pain killer similar to ibuprofen—who knew?—and more blood to infant which can help keep blood sugar high), plus it helps shrink the placenta inside of me which can prevent hemorrhaging. We offered Winston to cut it, but he didn’t want to. Sam took the baby and Rebecca helped me deliver the placenta and get out of the tub. I was completely amazed at how clean the water was after the baby was born. There were small chunks of vernix and two larger blood clots from the womb, and that was it. The water was still clear. I didn’t tear, so there was no blood until after the placenta delivered. After that, I laid on the couch and nursed the baby. Right about that time my mom arrived. The kids were excited to head to her house for the day and for a sleepover, and barely let her stay to hold the baby.

In the next moments, Rebecca made sure I was comfortable, measured the baby—6 lbs 13.8 oz, 20.5 inches—made sure he was breastfeeding, with Sam’s help used a sump-pump to pump the water out of the bath through the window out to the front yard, took blood samples from the placenta, packed up all her things, helped me get upstairs to clean up, put the baby in a sunny warm spot and did his check up, and then headed out. My mom was amazed as she watched this and commented she wished she had done this with her babies. Rebecca was back Sunday afternoon to check up on baby and me.

reflection

Rebecca said that 3^rd babies usually follow their own birth story and not usually like the other babies before them. Sure enough with ours. I never had contractions prior to birth day with my other kids. With Winston my water broke and then labor started. With Sapphire I was induced, but didn’t feel any of the Pitocin-induced contractions until the doctor came in and broke my water. Winston’s labor was 3 hours, Sapphire’s was also about 3 hours (but born 1 ½ hours after my water broke). Little Nico’s was just over 5 hours from when I woke up with contractions. The intensity of this labor was a LOT less than the others, as they say it will be when you don’t break the water. But the last 20 minutes when it was descending and crowning was as intense as I remember from my other two labors. As Rebecca said, I allowed this baby to have his very own birth story. We didn’t interfere with anything. There’s a soft and pleasant feeling that comes with that thought.

thoughts on home birth

Utah has one of the highest rates of home births in the nation, with 2.89% of births being in the home; US average is still only 1.36% (CDC data found here). More and more insurance companies are showing their interest in home births (my insurance covers it), as the statistics show good results (sometimes better than hospital births). 

There are many benefits of having a home birth. Many are listed on Rebecca's website here. From the book Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The Wisdom and Science of Gentle Choices in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting by Sarah J. Buckley, MD I learned:

• Many studies show at least as good maternal and infant mortality rates as hospitals, but many studies show better rates. 
• There are also much less interventions during birth, leading to less tears, less c-sections, more alert and better conditions of babies, better breastfeeding outcomes, and better transition to motherhood for mothers within the first months postpartum.
• a more recent study than this book shows that "among low-risk women, planned home births result in low rates of interventions without an increase in adverse outcomes for mothers and babies." 
• The Netherlands have the highest rate of home birth in the Western world and some of the lowest rates of intervention with good outcomes for mothers and babies.

Since my first pregnancy, I have read 11 books about natural labor and deliveries that have helped me prepare for labor, understand the birth process, understand interventions and when/why needed, read many birth stories including with and without epidurals and C-sections, VBACs, in and out of hospital. My favorites are written by medical doctor women who themselves wanted better experiences than hospital settings: Birthing a Better Way: 12 Secrets for Natural Childbirth by Kalena Cook (click here for my review of the book; this is a great one even if you do plan an epidural hospital birth) and Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The Wisdom and Science of Gentle Choices in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting by Sarah J. Buckley (my review here; loved the science and explanations of hormones during and after labor and how those are interfered when induced or C-section; and the science-based explanation of effects of hospital interventions). My favorite for pain management is: Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond by Nancy Bardacke (my review here).

As I mentioned earlier, I reflect fondly on my two hospital deliveries. There are a few things that were a bother, but overall we had good experiences. Because I went natural with all three, I have healed similarly. I could walk around easily right after birth. I could use the restroom and have not been sore (other than after-labor pains--those were intense! Anyone who can handle those after birth cramping, especially during breastfeeding, can handle a natural labor and delivery! There were every bit as painful, if not worse because they lasted longer than a typical contraction.). 

I have been grateful for my ability to heal well after each birth. But nothing will beat this home birth. My own home, a setting undisturbed. A wonderful supportive husband and midwife to help me labor but no others. My own bed. No nurses bothering me or the baby in the wee hours of the morning. I didn't have to go anywhere or worry about anyone but me and my baby. It was beautiful. I would do it again, and I would highly recommend it.