In and Out of D.C.

I work in a position that requires "scholarship" in order to achieve promotion and tenure. A big part of that is sharing the impacts of the work I do with others in similar professions across the country.  I go from here to there and here to there (at least once a year or so) to present such "scholarly endeavors" at national conferences.

This week, I made a quick trip--probably the quickest I've ever made to and from a conference--to Washington, D.C. I got there a few hours after the conference started (I couldn't catch any earlier flight without leaving a day earlier), just in time for their dinner presenter and to crash in bed. The next day was conference, conference, conference, which included my poster presentations. After the full day, we had a few hours of free time. It was after 6PM, so everything like museums and offices were closed, but at least I could see some of the monuments.

Washington Memorial

WW II Memorial

I walked about 4 1/2 miles, from hotel to and around the monuments, and I only saw a couple of them. Sidewalks here and there were closed due to some renovations going on, and I was not dressed properly for the windy, chilly weather. My hands and arms got really cold--I had a hard time unlocking my phone to take photos.

Vietnam War Memorial. I don't believe I know anyone on this wall, but it's awfully sobering.

Whitehouse from kind of afar.

The next day was half a day of conference, closing with a delicious lunch. This was a nutrition specific conference, and boy oh boy! could you tell it was health and nutrition experts that helped choose the menu. I LOVED IT! They had a wonderful assortment of the most delicious variety of foods--including lots of veggies prepared in all sorts of ways, whole grains, wonderful meats and vegetarian dishes, fruits, and even milk at breakfast (every time I attend a conference, I have to ask one of the food service workers if they can get me milk from the kitchen; which they always do happily, for which I am grateful). And, not to be unrealistic, they also chose delicious desserts--but not too rich or too heavy. Often at conferences I feel like they have too many heavy foods, and not enough nutrients. It was a lovely change, and proves to all it can be done.

After that final scrumptious meal, I was on my way home. I was awake from 5:30AM (eastern time) to midnight (mountain time). That's 21 1/2 hours. Travel days are always so long. Thankfully, I had window seats and could rest my head to take a couple of naps.

It's always so nice to be home! I will likely be attending a conference in Baltimore this summer (for educational purposes with a grant I have, and not to present). I'm debating about taking a couple of days before or after the trip to explore more of D.C. with Sam. But I hear Baltimore is cool in and of itself. (I welcome any suggestions you may have about exploring D.C. and/or Baltimore.)

We shall see what we decide, but a few things are for sure.
1) We'll rent bikes to ride around if we spend time in D.C. (maybe in Baltimore, too).
2) I'll try harder to book a non-stop flight (especially coming home).
3) Traveling with only a carry-on rollaway luggage piece was definitely worth it. It was my first time ever only having my purse and a carry-on, and I hope to do that more often (even if Unite Airlines had to gate check it because they ran out of overhead bin space...). This Joy of Less thing proved a very refreshing way to travel (even if my hands were freezing while walking around).

From Shaved Ice & Beaches to Hot Chocolate & Snuggies

Sunday afternoon I was slurping a coconut-pineapple shaved ice to cool down from an ocean-view hike at Diamond Head Crater in Honolulu. 83 degrees outside.

The next day I was snuggling with Sam and a snuggie as close to our fireplace as I could. 23 degrees outside.

My job took me to Honolulu to present at a conference. Due to too many inconveniences, Sam didn't come with me. We were both disappointed, of course. Have you ever noticed that work (or lack thereof) gets in the way of many aspects of life? We either can't do something because work is in the way, or we can't do something because we have no work. And yet work took me to Hawaii. Oh the irony. :)

But, one of my sisters-in-law, Jana, was able to come with me. We had a fun time exploring Oahu, and despite popular belief, there is plenty to do and see in only 4 days, as I will show you in coming posts.

First stop of the trip (not including to the hotel), just off the road in small town Haleiwa.

View driving up H3 toward Honolulu.

Beach in North Shore area.

Flowers at the Laie LDS temple grounds. 

I love vacations, and despite the cold and snow here at home, I'm also very happy to be home.

A Tip From A Successful Working Momma

The other day while driving home from work, I heard a news teaser on the radio. It basically said, "stay tuned to learn successful working mothers' secrets."

During the commercial break, I thought about what the secret could be. What do I do to have success in the workplace? And how do I do it without compromising home-life and duties?

I thought about how I really try to have steep boundaries between work and home (sometimes hard to do when I occasionally work at home).

I thought about how I really try to be professional in my part-time career, and leave all personal issues, etc., out of work so that I can concentrate on work.

I thought about how I don't try to do everything. That's really just impossible. There are a million things I want to do, but I just don't, because of my time restraints between momma-and-house-duties and work.

I thought about how the real secret is probably a supportive husband. There's no way I could do what I do without Sam.

As my mind was still guessing "the secret" successful working mothers have, the radio commercials ended and the news began.

Wanna know the secret?

The secret is that successful working mothers are depressed.

What?! What kind of secret is that? 

The news stated:
"Working moms who held onto a "supermom" attitude -- the idea that they can climb the corporate ladder and have a clean house, delicious dinner and perfect children -- were more unhappy and depressed than women who accepted the fact that they just can't do it all."

Huh. Not what I was expecting to hear (and sometimes that's just how they summarize and tweak the news to fit it into small highlights on the radio).

I was really expecting to hear a tip from successful working moms on how they do it. Not how they don't do it and how they really put on a front--a disguise to cover their contradiction.

(Sigh)

(BIG sigh)

As I've thought about this the last few days, I realize that it IS possible to be both, but not without compromising. What has to be compromised? Well, that's different for every body.

Sam and I made the decision long ago that we would raise our children. Thankfully I have a part-time job flexible enough that I can generally make my own schedule. I drop Winston off at Sam's work as soon as he's done and then it's my turn to work. Sam just commented the other day that he likes that I go to work when he gets done because it kind of forces him to spend time with Winston. If I were around during that time, he might just be busy with other things and not really take advantage of that father-son time. Being with our child as much as possible is our goal.

I also thrive best in an organized, clean home. So, that is a priority for me (ironically, however, my office is not so tidy...that piles up and doesn't get sorted as often as it should). I spend time after exercising (almost) every morning scuttling around the house doing necessary chores. Some days and chores take more time and effort than others, of course. I also spend time before bed doing the same. I don't find it time consuming because I (generally) stay on top of it.

I do compromise hobbies. I don't get to read as often as I'd like. I don't get to blog or facebook as much as I'd like (that's probably a good thing, though). I haven't scrap-booked in who-knows-how-long. For-fun shopping trips are usually just there-and-back without much browsing-for-fun. And date nights for Sam and I usually consist of a red box and popcorn after Winston's asleep. And that's okay with us.


In conclusion, if you are one of those successful working moms (or dads, for that matter!) with the secret of depression looming behind you, I encourage you to take this tip from me: it's OKAY and HEALTHY to NOT do and be everything. Figure out what is most important to you, given your circumstances, and make the best of it. Something will have to compromise, and that's the real secret of how you can be a successful [working] momma (or dadda).


PS I hope it goes without saying that the same principle applies to non-working mommas (and dads). The news report mentioned above also stated that stay-at-home moms are more depressed than working moms. We have to realize there really is just no such thing as Super Powers.

Packin' It Away

The awesome supply of fresh garden produce is fantastic, but a little much for the three of us.

So far, we have:
- Blanched and frozen some zucchini.
- Grated and frozen carrots and zucchini (yummy warm cakes and muffins on a cold winter day, here we come!).
- Whipped up pesto sauce with our flavorful, fresh basil and froze for later use.
- Eaten a bunch of meals with fresh ingredients.
- Canned salsa.

I'm spent. And it really hasn't even started yet!

Chopping all of this was the hardest part.

Have you ever made salsa to can? I definitely prefer fresh salsa, but home-canned stuff is good enough during the out-of-season winter months.

As part of my job, I teach how to safely can foods at home. It's really quite the science, but thankfully scientists have already taken the guess work out of it, and all we need to do is follow what they have to say.

Check out the latest 2009 edition of The USDA Complete Guide to Home Canning, or homefoodpreservation.com, or freshpreserving.com for the best and 100% accurate canning information.

Salsa is tricky because it combines border-line low-acid foods (tomatoes) with even lower-acid foods (peppers and onions). Low-acid foods have potential to grow botulism, which can be deadly (yikes!).

I could go on and on and on, but the bottom line is I (and any food safety and canning specialist) would never recommend to can any recipe unless it comes from a safe source (see links above; also check with your local cooperative extension service).

I processed them outside on the camp chef to keep the heat outside.

I used this awesome, easy-to-multiply generic salsa recipe. I'll add cilantro, maybe beans, etc., to it when I open it after storage.

Bits & Pieces

"Mauwidge...is what brings us together, today."



Marriage is also what took me to Houston.

The National Association of Marriage and Relationship Education (NARME) conference was a great one. It’s always refreshing to be around professionals who are passionate about their job and the impact of their job on the lives of others.

Not only did my mind start spinning about ways to improve what I do at work, but my mind was spinning about ways to improve what I do in the rest of my life—the more important life, the wife and momma life. 

Here are some bits and pieces of some of the presentations I attended. Even though these are mostly just one-liners taken without context, they still provide some great insight.

• There is no equivalent to prayer. In faith-based communities, educators/counselors teach couples how to pray for the well-being of their partner. These same educators have not yet found an equivalent to prayer in secular communities. Nothing does it like prayer.

• “Your love life is not neutral.” By relationships author Marline Pearson

• “It’s easier to add positives than to eliminate the negatives” and “It is easier to be in a great marriage than a “good-enough” marriage. (Pat Love)

• Many of us say two words when we get married “I do.” We vow to ourselves, to our partner and to God to do so many things in our marriage relationship. A fabulous presenter stated that when he dies, he wants to hold a sign that says “I did.”

• Most people would rather complain than change.

• Who wants to be around an emotionally demanding person? Who is the person in your extended family that nobody wants to hang out with for a long period of time? If you can’t think of anyone, maybe that someone is you. (Yikes!)

• It took Nintendo to figure out the right way to spell we--that is--“wii”—with two i’s. That is how a marriage should be—two distinct individuals working together.

• Most conflict in relationships is deciding not between the good and the bad, but about what we want most versus what we want right now. When we take what we want right now, that is when we fail.

• Distressed couples have no less communication skills than a healthy/happy couple, but they do have more negative communication.

• Over the course of time within a marriage, it is normal to become imbalanced. Imbalances are normal—we just have to balance our imbalances.

Houston, We Have a Problem

I flew into Houston for a conference. It's nice that I'm actually just attending and not presenting. I didn't have to worry about packing handouts, presentation supplies, etc., and I didn't have to pack professional clothing that wrinkles easily. The last three conferences Winston came along, and I had oodles of baby stuff to carry.

This time, I only had to check one bag and carry on only my purse. Aww. My back and shoulders felt great.

I got off the plane and waited a little impatiently for the baggage claim thingy to spit out my bag.

I waited and waited. Each black suitcase looked like mine until I all but grabbed it and realized it wasn't mine.

I thought about how I've never once been victim to missing luggage (well...once when we checked in too early, but it was there in a storage room). I knew I had transferred flights, so maybe my luggage was put on the plane first, before those who checked in. So I waited.

I waited some more.

Then I realized that blue duffle bag had passed a few times and there were no new bags coming.

I asked the nearest airline employee who was grabbing that blue duffle bag if that was the last bag from that flight.

Yep.

She recommended I check in at the baggage claim desk and file a report.

Report filed.

I had to report two things in my bag. Umm...a white shirt? Finally I could recall two obvious things. She asked where to deliver it and handed me a paper with a summary of the report. They would leave it at the bell desk of the hotel and call me when it gets there.

When would it come? She seemed pretty confident it would come during the night.

On my way to the hotel, I prepared myself for the "what-if" it didn't come. What store would be open before my 8:30AM conference? I couldn't wear jean capris to the conference. If I could just find some slacks or a skirt, then I could go shopping during lunch and after the first day. My mind looped through where I could buy makeup that my skin won't be sensitive to, a curling iron, etc. What about underclothing? As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who has been through the temple, I wear special temple garments as underclothing (click here for more information). They are only available in special stores. I had Sam check online to see if Houston had a store, and they did. Good to know.

Then I realized the airlines would probably compensate me for some losses...maybe I could get a new computer since my laptop was in my checked bag? Hmmm...shopping for new stuff could be fun.

I knew all along, though, that the bag would turn up. I just hoped it would be during the evening. Thanks to the housekeeping, I didn't even have to go to bed with un-brushed teeth.

I woke up with a start at 4:something AM. No missed call on my phone. No message on the hotel phone. I got a little worried, and hoped they didn't keep their we'll-call-you promise because it was the middle of the night.

In the morning, I dressed in same clothes I traveled half-way across the country in (eww...) and heading down to the lobby.

HOORAY! They had my bag. It had been delivered about 2AM.

So, no shopping for a week's worth of new clothing for me (sigh), thankfully!

Four Full Days of Conference: Chewing on It

I attended a conference this week held at BYU. It was really two separate conferences put back-to-back, as many attendees want both, but many others don't want to attend both. I attended to learn, present and to chauffeur others in my office.

Anyway, I found myself reflecting on various things on my way home from the conference yesterday, some of which have nothing really to do with the conference itself. Like,

• It's nice to see that other people can love their job, and still not like it sometimes. Or all the time.
• It is fantastic to run into old friends and play a little catch-up. Facebook and blogs will never compete with that.
• BYU is...still BYU. (I still love my BYU friends, though. And you know this is just to tease you.)
• My little boy waits to grow until I'm gone for a few hours every day. Seriously, each evening he was 2 inches taller and a little thicker! He's getting so big, right before my eyes.
• Teachers often act as bad as their own junior high and high school students. Sometimes they admit it.
• Wireless internet is awesome--one of the best inventions ever. I can get work done on the go.
• Wireless internet is the worst invention ever. I can get work done on the go.
• Vietnamese food is delicious and I can't wait to make more. Even with yucky fermented fishy sauce.
• College students are getting younger and younger. 
• Four days of "dining card" eating leaves me satisfied with flavors and foods I don't often have; yet craving my typical, at-home diet.
• Commuting is overrated. Especially with UDOT construction. And especially when the conference starts at 8 AM.
• My husband is an awesome dad and husband, and gets a lot done at home with the kiddo. But it's obvious I'm the one who cares most about keeping the house tidy. And that's okay.
• I have a list of lots more books I want to read, none of which have anything to do with the conference, but more do to with the BYU bookstore and small talk with other conference attendees. (Are you on goodreads? You should be--and friend me!) I can't wait to jump into my reading list.

And there's one more thing. I can't quite pin-point it yet, but I know something is brewing inside of me. I attended a presentation about Utah's Own, a movement in Utah to promote eating/buying local. Ever since I heard about it a couple of years ago I've been excited about it. This presentation wasn't anything I didn't know, but it started a whole slew of thoughts and ideas and projects, etc., in relation to my job. In an indescribable way, I feel enlightened and guided in my job in a new way. It's a similar feeling I had when I chose my field of study in college and again when I got working on my graduate degree and finishing my thesis. I have a renewed excitement for my job, and a I feel, once again, that my education, training, and position have brought me to where I am today for a purpose yet to be fully understood. I just need to keep chewing on it to figure it out.

From Size 12 to Size 2: How I Did It

If you knew me during the summer of 2008 (before my pregnancy), I was 20-25 pounds larger (depending on the scale), 4-5 pant sizes bigger (depending on the brand), and 2 bra sizes bigger (around; cup stayed same) than I am currently. During my pregnancy with Winston (Fall 2008 to Spring 2009), I never changed pant sizes, but I gained about 15-17 pounds, and got thicker pretty much all around.

A couple of hours after Winston was born, I stepped onto the scale in the birthing room, out of curiosity. I had lost 8 pounds as a result of delivering a child (who was 6 lbs 7 oz) and the after birth.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever hope that about one week after Winston was born I would be about 15 more pounds down, already a little below my pre-pregnancy weight. It was shocking and amazing. I felt like the weight all just poured out of me (quite literally...I had to urinate very often that first week or two postpartum).

Much to my surprise, the weight continued to come off. For a while, I had ugly, flabby wrinkles under my eyes and arms from the quick drop in weight. Over the course of the next 18 months, (and 4 seasons worth of new clothing) I lost another 15-18 pounds, bringing me down 20-25 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. I was shrinking out of my wardrobe left and right. Last winter I had to buy new clothing that would fit me, as my pre-pregnancy pants wouldn't stay up.  This most recent winter, most of those items were too large, and I again had to buy new clothing. (I say "had to" not because shopping isn't fun, but money is tight, of course; and as I will post soon, it is hard to find clothing that fits.)

What's my secret? you might ask. What's my magic trick for losing that much weight so quickly? I've been pondering the same thing for about 1 1/2 years now. I have some ideas, but I couldn't tell you which made the most difference. I really think it was a combination of them all.

• Diet change. I wouldn't say that I ate unhealthily before my pregnancy, but my diet has gotten better over the last 6 years. This is due, in large part, to a program I starting working with and now supervise. It teaches basic nutrition based on the USDA's Dietary Guidelines (check out My Pyramid for some great tools http://mypyramid.gov)

• More whole grains and increased plant-based proteins. The main changes to my diet have been eating 100% whole grains whenever possible (100% whole wheat bread, brown rice, whole wheat noodles, corn or wheat flour tortillas, etc.), and an increase in plant-based proteins, like soy (we love edamames!), other varieties of beans, and nuts. A favorite food is hummus, which is super high in protein. We rarely have meat. In addition, I usually only drink water or milk (studies have shown non-fat dairy products help lose weight more quickly). I also always choose fat-free milk products (milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.), and I'm much better at eating more veggies. I think changing grains and increasing plant-based proteins, in addition to other healthy food choice I make, put me on the track to dropping the weight.

• Walking or bike riding everywhere. There would be weeks at times without starting our car. This has changed a bit now that we live in a bigger area, farther away from work, and since I have to worry about keeping Winston warm. But we still do this as much as possible. It was much easier in smaller towns like Logan and Duchesne.

• At least 30 minutes (often 40-60) of planned, routine exercise about 5 times a week. Walking to work or bike rides, hikes, etc. was in addition to that. I even did this when pregnant and a few days after we brought Winston home. The first few months postpartum were tough as I was fighting lack of sleep at night. But when I stopped working full-time, I went back to my exercise routine. Nothing special, just a mix of using an exercise ball, and a variety of work-out videos, and occasionally lap swimming or biking.

• Change in contraceptive. When I think of pinning it down to one thing (considering the others above I did years before the baby was born), this would be it. But I don't know for sure. I have no idea what research says about it, and doctors and nurses I've talked to don't seem to have heard similar results. But what I use wouldn't work for every one. If you want details, email or facebook me. 

• Nursing for 18 months. Man, does nursing burn calories! I was constantly hungry from week 2 to about 12 months. Sam would just stare at me when I'd say, "I'm hungry" 20 minutes after eating a huge dinner. Lots of pregnancy/nursing literature states nursing helps lose weight because of the calories burned. It certainly helped me.

• Working only part-time. August 2009 was the first time I wasn't working full-time in school (with multiple part-time jobs) or a demanding full-time job, since 2001. For 8 years I was stressed (I think of it as a good stress) physically and mentally (and occasionally emotionally), as I worked my tail off to get as much schooling done as I possibly could, without taking out student loans. I finished high school with enough credits equivalent to one year of college. 4 1/2 years later had a master's degree and an awesome (though demanding) full-time job. I think going down to part-time contributed to less-stress and therefore some weight loss. I never want to work full-time again.

• Carrying Winston around. I loved the moby wrap I made to snuggle him close. He always wanted to be held, and I always indulged. Nothing like carrying 7 - 20 pounds around for 18 months!

• Yoga. I never really practiced yoga until I was pregnant. I had done it enough to be familiar with the basics, though. One lady who cut my hair when I lived in Logan told me she did yoga on the beaches of Bear Lake for months after having her babies and she thinks that is how she lost all her pregnancy weight (and more). I thought about that often as I did yoga. Perhaps yoga is magic. 

• Focus on sitting up straight. I remember sitting in a chair to nurse Winston a few days after he was born. My tummy was all mushy, and it felt really weird to have it all crumpled up on itself, saggy layer on saggy layer. (Great image I created for you, eh? All you women who have had a baby totally understand, I'm sure!) So, every time I nursed, and other times of sitting, I focused on sitting up straight and pulling my abdomen in and up, just like they tell you to do while doing yoga, or kick boxing, or water aerobics. Perhaps it only helped my posture. But I think it helped suck that tummy away.

I don't think any of you who knew me 2 1/2 years ago would say that I was "large" or "fat" (well, Sam does now looking back...). I never considered myself "small" or "skinny," but when I entered college, I stopped comparing myself to my friends that were skinny and small. I decided after pondering on my otherwise healthy lifestyle, that I probably would always be a size 10-12. After all, I was, indeed, average (even if bigger than some) and curvy-ly beautiful, and that was okay by me.

Everyone says after having a baby, your body will never be the same. I believed it! But I never expected to be this size. EVER! And now here I am. But I must say that my feelings for myself and confidence in myself have not changed. I'm grateful that years ago I accepted my body for what it was, and as it has changed I do the same. And as it changes in the future, I will feel the same (as long as I'm always taking care of it). 

I think of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's general conference talk To Young Women given in Oct. 2005. 

"A woman not of our faith once wrote something to the effect that in her years of working with beautiful women she had seen several things they all had in common, and not one of them had anything to do with sizes and shapes. She said the loveliest women she had known had a glow of health, a warm personality, a love of learning, stability of character, and integrity." (click to read more)

Month of Love: Teaching

I just got done teaching a class, and I got some great comments and compliments on the class. On my drive home I thought about how much I like teaching.

I remember during college I was asked to teach for the Relief Society group at my church. I only had to teach one Sunday a month, and my manual was a book on teachings of a prophet, but each lesson read more like a book than a lesson plan. That first class I was really nervous. But I got used to it quickly and really looked forward to teaching.

I also remember the first time I taught a class on credit management as part of one of my internships. My supervisor, who is now a dear friend and colleague, was there watching, observing, and taking care of the rest of the details of the financial management series while I taught. There was also a camera crew in the back filming to make a video. I was a nervous wreck! I look back reflecting on how much I have learned and grown in the teaching arena. This past Fall at an inservice, I actually gave a presentation on effective teaching skills to my peers and our nutrition educators. I feel like I've come a long way.

Those firsts were almost 7 and 5 years ago, respectively. My teaching style has changed a little, and continually does. Now, as part of my job, I teach very often, and sometimes on the fly. Sometimes it's for work, sometimes I speak or teach at church. I love it. I kind of speak the same way I teach--I mostly just write down an rough outline and take along any specific quotes I want to read word-for-word. My favorite presentations are with audiences that participate a lot, like the one I taught today.

Since Sam and I have moved a few times in the last year or so, we have spoken 6 times or so in church over the last 2-3 years. The first of those, I actually tried to write out my talk word-for-word, but I couldn't do it. I love the flexibility an outline gives me. It's easier to skip a section if I don't have time, or to add to a section if I need more time. That's just the way I do it.

There have been times where I feel opposite of how I do right now. I finish teaching or presenting and think that I totally misgauged the audience and can sense it wasn't clicking with them. I do my best to adapt what is needed for the next time.

But today was a perfect class. I love teaching.

Month of Love: I Heart My Job

Repeat after me: "I love my job."

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

That's what I have to keep telling myself lately. There's a lot on my plate at work right now, and I can't seem to whittle it down. I don't realize it's stressful until I find myself tossing and turning at night and having dreams about missing appointments, like my interview on the radio, or getting in front of a group of people with nothing--no thoughts, no notes, nothing--prepared. Just dreams, just dreams. {Breathe in....breathe out. Inhale....exhale...}

But really, I do love my job. It's flexible. It makes me think. It pushes my comfort zone at times. It gives me multiple chances to do what I have a passion for (on many levels). I love it.

And I can't wait for this crazy month at work to be over. IlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjob...

And Just Like That, He's Weaned

Winston surpassed 19 months of age this past week. He just gets cuter and cuter as his personality is becoming more prevalent.

About a week or two before Thanksgiving, Winston had a few very rough nights in a row. I was working one evening and Sam put Winston to bed before I got home. I thought to myself, "if he sleeps through tonight without waking, I am going to stop nursing." And he did. That morning, Sam said to me, "I think you should be done nursing." Funny we thought the same thing.

And so, just like that we were done.

The following week Winston started a fever and had his 18-month checkup with the doc, who found an ear infection. Winston was miserable all through the week of Thanksgiving. I remembered previous times he was sick I nursed him through it, and wished I hadn't stopped the week before. Once during that week, he was absolutely inconsolable so I gave in and nursed him. He went right in as if had never stopped, but he couldn't quite figure it out. It was as if he forgot how. He finally just pushed me away, while I chuckled. We were both ready to be done.

He hasn't really seemed to notice the difference. In fact, since he got over his little ear infection, he has slept better than ever. Since stopping, he has turned to me a few times while getting pj's on and patted my chest like he used to at bedtime just before nursing, but a distraction with a book quickly satisfied him.

I never thought I would nurse as long as I did. Before Winston was born, I thought nursing was kind of disgusting, but I knew it was the best I could give him. Nursing wasn't the easiest thing to figure out when Winston was first born. We used a silicone nipple shield for months before he finally decided he would nurse without it. But other than that, it has been a great experience. I have fond memories of his little nursing antics, from rolling his eyes in the back of his head, to playing with my hair, jewelry and clothing, to patting my skin as if it were soft fur.

I have nursed Winston virtually everywhere, from my desk at work, to the kitchen table while eating, to airplanes and conferences, to various stores and restaurants, to the tops of mountains and while hiking down a mountain, and even during a performance appraisal at work (which I still think is totally amazing my supervisor is that supportive!). It's been a great experience and I'm glad we did it. I'm also glad to be done.

One of my friends, Amanda, shared this blog with me. It's a photography blog of nursing mothers, if you're into that kind of thing. Some of the photos and stories are simply beautiful, amazing, and empowering (and some are much more liberal with nursing than I'd ever be, but all power to them!).

Back to the Recent Past

Yesterday and today I drove to and from my current home to my previous home, about a 2 hour drive each way (3 hours today, due to inclement weather). If my situation were different, I would have stayed the evening last night and taken some more time to visit some of my friends whom I miss greatly. But, that will have to come another time.

The reason for my traveling back and forth was to sit on the interviewing committee to fill the position that I vacated about 1 1/2 years ago. It's been a long time in coming (for many reasons), but it's finally here. And there were good candidates.

I was very much looking forward to taking part in hiring for my old job, but I wasn't expecting some of the emotions that came with it. Now, don't over-read that. I didn't become emotional (I'm really not an emotional kind of person). But there were definitely some feelings of nostalgia, like visiting a childhood home, or family you haven't seen in a while. Kind of like coming home.

Actually, the best way to describe it is this: remember the first time you visited your parents' home after you moved out and lived on your own for a while? The first time you stayed in your old bedroom after being away to college or being married? Kind of reminiscent, kind of faded memories, but also very vivid memories, and no regret for moving on? This visit to Duchesne was kind of that way. It was my first "real" job, my first shot at life after college, our first big move together as a married couple (even though we weren't really together for a lot of that time...), where we brought home our first baby.

While there, I almost reached for my keys a few times to open the office door. I found myself looking around the multipurpose room wondering what else I needed to set up (though it wasn't my responsibility). The office staff said they still refer to my old office as "Melanie's office," and the state staff still sends materials there in my name (even though they sent the same things in my name to my current office...).

I ran into some good friends whom I miss, and realized as I saw them how much I really miss them. And many I hoped I would be able to visit, but the tight schedule (and daunting weather) didn't allow time.

I still feel bad about leaving Duchesne. I loved my job, the people I worked with, and the community and our friends there. I was just getting things started when we moved, and I could feel a sort of sigh of disappointment as we left, and it weighed on me in ways I can't really describe.

I feel much better now after this visit. There are some good candidates for the position and because of that I finally feel some closure I didn't realize I needed.

Award Ceremonies are Long and Mostly Boring--Even if You're a Winner

In September, I attended a national conference to present but also to receive an award, the national and western region new professional award. Basically, it is given to a professional who demonstrates excellence within the first 3 years of employment. 

I was excited to receive it, of course, especially because they gave me $500 toward getting to the conference. I'm also very pleased because I work part-time, and I feel this award is a huge step and shout out to women and moms that work part-time. We don't have to be underdogs after all.

I have to admit, though, that the ceremony was boring. I was seated at a table with other winners, and small talk can only go so far, ya know? The MCs read a short paragraph about each winner, and it took FOR-EV-ER! I was one of the first to be announced, and it sure dragged after that. And not just for me; I got the vibe that the whole room was tired. I ran into some conference attendees on my way out that didn't attend and toured around Portland, instead. I don't blame them; I would have ditched if I weren't being recognized. I think all award ceremonies are long and boring.

Except for maybe the Oscars and the Tony's. But at these ceremonies, the winner isn't known until they are announced. Much more exciting. 

The ceremonies I've attended lack excitement (aside from the food served prior or after). At these, you're given a program with a list of the awards and the winners. And then you sit and clap one after another after another after another as the winners go up and awkwardly pose for a photo. Like this:

Western Region Winner

And like this:

National Winner

I'll likely attend future award ceremonies. And I'm sure I'll survive the boredom, again, don't you worry.

Maine, Part 3

My conference started yesterday, and the kick-off event was a "Maine Friendship" event, that included a Land and Sea Tour of Portland and a Taste of Maine buffet. It was a fabulous, beautiful, and delicious way to start a conference. My mom and Winston came along to the festivities last night.

Portland Headlight. The bus stopped here, even though we came a few days ago.

While walking around Portland, we discovered some cute shops, including Coastal Maine Popcorn Co., that has over 30 kinds of flavored popcorn--like dill pickle, Maine maple, southwestern cheddar, black licorice, etc. I'm planning on going back when Sam gets here.

Looking out at the bay from inside the ferry ride; surrounded by my colleagues who are all so friendly with Winston.

There are all sorts of fun places to eat. I guess Maine was recently named the "foodiest" place in America. Tons and tons of locally-owned eateries that use local ingredients. Very green. I like that.

After a couple of business meetings with my association and giving my own presentation on mentoring new professionals, my mom and I went on a self-guided walking tour of the Portland Freedom Trail. It highlights known locations of the underground railroad and abolitionist movements here in Portland. My mom really enjoyed it and kept saying, "I want to find a book to read about this." Sometimes I think my mom (who is a nurse by profession) should have become a history scholar.

Super old cemetery where many of the abolitionists are buried.  Many gravestones you can't even read.

I'm actually really enjoying this conference. It is the National Extension Association of Family and Consumer Sciences (NEAFCS). Everyone (virtually) here works in the same job I do somewhere in the country. There are over 800 of us here, and it is really nice to have workshops made exactly for my job, whereas other conferences I've been to deal with only one aspect of my job. And I must say, if I never have before, that I really do love my job, and it is always fun to be around others who also love what we do. 

Squawk, Squawk, Squeal, Repeat

I had a conference/training today, and this is just exactly how Winston acted all day long.

Yep--All. Day.

It started before he even got out of bed this morning, and he's still doing it now.

We stood outside the conference room for probably 90% of the meetings (the other 10% he was sleeping or eating).

It was very cute, and oh so very distracting.

How It Goes

During the six weeks of maternity leave after having Winston, I was amazed at how much I was able to do. I jumped back into an exercise routine. We had meals for lunch and dinner. The house was clean. I wrote in my journal every couple of days at least. Scripture study didn't compete with anything. The time home was very relaxing.

Aww...those were the days.

I've been working full time for about six weeks now. There are so many things that just get put on the back burner. Things like:
- Exercising (haven't done much other than walk to work and back)
- Cooking (we've had edamames, grilled cheese, waffles/pancakes, chips & salsa, or PB&J...over and over again)
- Cleaning (wow. I'm embarrassed how cluttered our house is...double cluttered, too, because we're moving in 10ish days)
- Packing (we've only packed like 4 boxes...lots and lots more to go)
- Getting ready in the morning (good thing I have a hair cut that is a little less high-maintenance)
- Emailing and blogging (you should see my inbox...and I probably haven't seen your blog in a while...sorry)

I'm not sure how anybody works full time and gets stuff done. Of course, Sam is also working 10 hour days, which makes a difference. And we've been traveling a TON on weekends, just to get stuff done for the move, and also for family things, work, a mini-vacation, and errands.

I'm glad I won't be working full time after next week. I'm gonna need the time to recoup.

Back to Work

Last week I went back to work after 6 wonderful weeks of maternity leave. Winston came right along with me. He mostly hangs out in my wrap asleep.

But when he's awake, he nurses while I check my work email and type one-handed, or he stares at the bookshelf from a blanket on the floor. So far, it's been really easy to have him at work...but I'm sure that will change when he becomes more mobile.

On another note, Winston has graduated from newborn diapers and onesises now. They still fit him around, but he is too tall for them. His other clothes are baggy but just right in length. I'm sure this will be a problem for the next month or so. Or maybe forever.