Potty Training is NOT for the Faint of Heart

We had been trying to coax Winston to sit on his little potty in the nude for a few months, and I eventually convinced (maybe forced?) him to sit nude right before bath-time, of course he was rewarded with a treat when he pottied. That worked well for a few weeks, but he refused the potty any other time. The first official day of his Thomas the train underwear and absolutely no turning back was January 15, 2012. He was a good sport, really enjoyed his newly learned skills, and had minimal accidents the first week. By January 27th, he had been 100% accident free for 3 days. Wahoo!

And then he decided that #2 would not happen. On the potty, in his underwear, or in a diaper. He just refused. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had just decided that, however, he was a grouchy grump, and wouldn't even nap long because he'd wake himself up trying to hold it in. And you all know how happy non-napping toddlers are. It was a vicious cycle. At times when I thought his body would do the work for him, I'd have to drag him to the potty and he'd more often then not throw a good fist in my face. I think I had a bloody lip once or twice. Thankfully, he never was constipated--just held it in longer than needed.

This lasted for a good 1 1/2 to 2 weeks. He was still totally accident free, but ornery. And as hard as I tried, I was ornery, too. I usually started out the day with lots of patience, but, despite good intentions, I lost it almost every day. One day in particular, I broke down in tears (a very rare thing for me) as I talked to my mom on the phone. I couldn't take any more days full of a grumpy, fighting, hitting, screaming child. She assured me that within a month he'd be used to going on his own, and that it's still a new thing for him. And she made a deal with Winston: if he went #2 all by himself, she would throw him a poo-poo party, complete with some balloons.

Sometime before this, I made an impromptu sticker chart to entice him. I also read up on pediatricians' and psychologists' websites and blogs trying to find more suggestions. I found a bunch of tips, and incorporated many of them. We got a children's picture book from the library that doctor's recommended and even found some potty time videos on Sesamestreet.org (like this one and these). Meanwhile, I tried my hardest to follow the principles I previously learned from ScreamFree Parenting. It's hard to say what really made the difference, and I think it was a combination of all the tips plus time just for him to get used to it. I don't think the prune juice hurt, either.

His sticker chart had 3 stickers on it for more than a week. And then--BAM!--he filled it up within 4-5 days. As a reward, we took him to buy a new Thomas train and a doughnut, and he still asks me if I remember when we bought a train and he ate his chocolate doughnut. The party with my mom was postponed a little bit due to her stroke, but we eventually got to celebrate--complete with balloons and M&Ms.

He is now a pro at the potty. He is so proud, and so are we. His little I-can-do-it-by-myself attitude is definitely more pronounced in many more daily things. He's now our big little boy, and not our tiny little baby. He'll be entering kindergarten before we know it...

I think the 2 weeks of trying to help Winston with this issue were the hardest weeks of my life. I began questioning how any parent makes it through potty training sane. And then I almost convinced myself they don't (haha). The hardest part was keeping my own cool, and dealing with the disappointment in myself when I didn't. It sounds ridiculous as I say that, but I've never been under more pressure to stay calm for such an extended time. Day after day, hour after hour. Sheesh! I think those doughnuts were really more for me than for him. :)

The day I broke down in tears, I asked my mom how she had so much patience with her children. She laughed, implying she was not. And I realized that's what grandparenting is for--a space of time to actually put your patience to good use on your grandchildren--a second chance, in many ways, and a time to devote completely to loving those small, beautiful children. I sometimes feel bad that my little son is my little guinea pig, in many ways, for me to practice. But, I guess that's parenting.