Building a Train

I came home to this last night. Winston was so proud of his "train."

I love how he picked items off the table, out of the Christmas decor, from his room, kitchen items, etc., and carefully grouped them together.

He has been so funny lately. Sam will hide his monkeys, and Winston thinks he can reach it with a chair.

Winston turned 3 1/2 a couple of weeks ago. I can't believe how much bigger he is than he was at the beginning of the year. Time flies! He is a lot of fun and he can be really stubborn, too, which means there are lots of struggles. Some days are better than others, but it seems we don't get through a day without one screaming fit on his end (and, unfortunately, on my end at times, too). I thought his pre-terrible-twos were bad when he started with tantrums around 18 months. A few of my friends said 2 wasn't bad for them, but 3 years old was the hardest for them. Here's to hoping these 2-year-long terrible-twos are on their way to our past. 

Our Baby Girl's Name

Sapphire Belle

Belle is a name I grew to love when I was a teenager. I often thought about names for my future children, but nothing really stayed on my list for long. One day while doing baptisms for the dead, I discovered Belle. From then on, I always thought it would make a beautiful middle name.

It also is the name of the main character in my all-time favorite movie/broadway show: Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I love that Belle is a get-to-it kind of princess who is also intelligent, not shallow, and sticks up for herself. In addition, while looking through my family history book, I remembered that my maternal grandfather's mother's maiden name is Bell. Unfortunately, due to the popularity (famous or infamous, whichever way you look at it) of the Twilight book and movie series, the name "Bella" is becoming much more common.

Because we couldn't come up with anything else, I just about decided to go with the name Belle as a first name, when I came across Sapphire. I saw a discussion thread on facebook asking for favorite girl names. At least one person commented "Sapphire" and it caused me to pause. I asked Sam about it, and he suggested "Safira," which happened to be the dragon's name in the book he was reading. I didn't really care for Safira, so we continued in our search.

A little while later, while skimming through the Baby Name Wizard book, I came across Sapphire again. I happened to be with my mom and asked what she thought. She loved it. My sister-in-law commented that it was September's birthstone. I thought it would be a neat coincidence if we chose that name and she was actually born in September (she was 14 hours and 14 minutes too late for that). After our can't-find-a-name post, my sister-in-law sent me a website with a relatively short list of interesting names on it. Sapphire was listed.

I'm not sure why, but I have a really hard time actually calling an unborn child by a name, and that's why I like the baby to be born before we officially name it. Plus, it gives another element of surprise, and I like surprises. Sam is the same way. But, we both agreed we liked it, and in the end we chose Sapphire Belle.

Winston still called the baby "Baby Alligator" until the moment he saw her for the first time. I asked who the baby was, and he said, "Baby Sapphire." "Baby Alligator?" I asked. "No. Baby Sapphire," he responded. He's never referred to her as Baby Alligator since.

We almost always call her Sapphire, but we also have a whole assortment of nicknames for her, including:

• Baby Belle
• Sassafras
• Blue Belle
• Fire Ball (Winston lets us know each time he hears it that he doesn't like this one)
• Saffy-Laffy-Taffy
• Others have referred to her as a "little gem," though I'm unsure if the pun was intended.

It's always fun to hear and see people's reaction to the name. As with the name Winston, you can tell whether or not people like it.

Both my mom and my grandmother wore sapphire jewelry to Sapphire's blessing in her honor; my mom has spoken her desire to bequeath her sapphires to Sapphire. Our doctor said he's never had a patient with this name before and really likes it; he hopes she has sapphire-colored eyes.

Why I Chose Natural Childbirths (and how I did it)

A handful of my friends asked me questions regarding my recent post on Sapphire's labor and delivery. Here are the answers to their questions and most of my thoughts regarding natural childbirth.

First of all I want to emphasize that I am not an expert in childbirth (obviously). I also want to note that I realize this can be a touchy and emotional topic; I mean not to offend. This post is just about my own two experiences, and as they say no two women and no two pregnancies are alike. I planned on natural labors and did all I could to prepare and practice for them. You might be thinking, "prepare and practice?" Indeed. Practice. I'll explain further.

Years ago, and at the beginning of my pregnancy with Winston, I was squeamish at any thought or story of childbirth. I enjoyed listening to friends and other women tell stories, but they made me nervous and sometimes a little sick to my stomach. I tried to push any thought about how that baby boy would actually come into the world out of my mind. When I did think anything, it was, "thank goodness for modern medicine," and figured I'd utilize the blessed epidural. I only briefly considered an un-medicated birth, thinking maybe one day I’d try it.

However, in the back of my mind, I remembered some details from women in my life (my mom, youth leaders, etc); specifically some details about one who had a medicated labor and then years later went natural and loved how she felt afterword, about my mom's only experience with an epidural with her 4th (of 5) children and how much she disliked it (even given how much pain the others were), and my mom's (who is a nurse, BSN) own concerns about how long babies are "stuck" in the birth canal because of epidurals.

When I was about 4 months pregnant with baby #1, one of my friends who was also expecting her first baby and planning a home birth, asked me, "What's your birth plan?" Like a child who gets called on in school and doesn't know the answer, I felt unprepared and a tiny bit embarrassed. I didn't have one, and I hadn't really thought of one. Isn't that something you just deal with near the end of pregnancy?

She had me read an article and told me about her neighbor who just had her 5th baby and 1st homebirth; both were a little inspiring and peaked my interest. The article made complete and total sense to me, and I knew after reading it that I wanted to do all I could to help my baby come safely into the world.

I looked more into it, and read a book called Ina May's Guide To Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, renowned midwife (see at the very end of this post for my own short opinions and reviews of childbirth books I've read). That book gave me more insight, particularly because it is filled with birth stories written by mothers. I also had some friends who were blogging about their home and natural births. Reading those accounts made me less squeamish and more comfortable with the thought that a baby would have to come out of me, and gave me confidence that I really could “go natural.” The more I read, the more I learned about the many benefits of un-medicated births, including the ability to move around, shorter labors, and reduced risk of c-sections. I also learned about general hospital practices and how to work with and around them.

In addition, Sam and I attended a childbirth class taught by a childbirth educator and doula. She discovered we preferred a natural birth, and spent more time than usual teaching us breathing and pain-coping techniques. The weeks following the class, Sam and I practiced those techniques. I contemplated hiring a doula and probably would have if Winston hadn’t surprised us by coming 3 weeks early.

No matter how much you can read and soak-in from others’ experience, your own experience is the best teacher. My labor withWinston was different than I expected; my doctor told me it would likely be a short labor, but I thought it would be longer than 3 hours. Our practice greatly helped. I moved around a lot during labor, moving from rolling with a birthing ball to walking to leaning to rocking in a chair, etc. I was only on the bed just before pushing. I was able to stay mostly very calm (no cursing or uncontrolled screaming from me). But the best part was the recovery—I was up and out of bed very soon after the baby was born. I walked to the bathroom (I didn’t need a catheter) and walked to my new room by myself. I was very pleased with the experience, and it replayed in my head over and over again for days, months, and even years.

Fast-forward about three years to pregnancy #2. I had a few goals with my next childbirth. I wanted it to be very similar to the first—un-medicated, move around, focus on breathing, walk around after, etc. I also hoped to be more calm and relaxed during the hardest moments of transition and pushing. So, I looked into hypnobirthing.  I didn’t actually attend a class or even read a book that was 100% about using hypnosis during birthing, but I did find some great books, namely:

• Birthing a Better Way: 12 Secrets for Natural Childbirth by Kalena Cook
• Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England 
• Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
• Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond by Nancy Bardacke

I learned more techniques and gained more insight from these books that helped during Sapphire’s birth. Sam and I practiced some breathing and mindfulness/meditation techniques from Mindful Birthing chapter 7 that involved holding ice cubes (sounds funny, but really good practice—not just for childbirth, either). I also really enjoyed the insight from chapter 6 The Dynamic Duo: Pain and Fear of the same book. In fact, it is one I would recommend all to read—pregnant or not. I recalled a lot of that chapter during labor.

In addition to some new things from those books, all throughout the pregnancy I practiced a prenatal yoga that included helpful poses as well as breathing that helped ease discomfort during pregnancy and labor. I remained physically active; I still exercised at least 30-60 minutes a day, 5-6 days a week, including Zumba (until about 35 weeks when my pelvic and hip bones’ protests halted that), hiking, walking, biking, some workout videos, and yoga. Whether or not my exercise during pregnancy affected the length of my labor is unknown, but I’m positive it aided during labor and with my quick recovery.

In summary, I want to combine some main points that stood out to me from all those books.

• Be aware of your care-giver’s opinions and practices; ask questions.
• Be aware of the hospital’s or birth-center’s policies and know how to work with and around them.
• Epidurals are not bad, and I am not (and those authors are not) against them; but it’s wise to know the benefits AND drawbacks so that an informed choice can be made.
• Epidurals slow down labor. Period.
• Epidurals can (though, of course, not always) lead to other complications.
• You never know what your labor will be like—whether long or short; even if you receive an epidural, there will likely be some labor pains you feel before your epidural and likely some pains after your epidural wears off. Perhaps you won’t have time for an epidural or the anesthesiologist won’t be available. It’s a good idea to prepare for an un-medicated childbirth “just in case.”
• Preparing and practicing definitely won’t be a waste of time, as the breathing and meditation techniques can help in all aspects of life—including parenting, dieting, and self-discipline in general. I gained a lot of skills that I’m working on implementing in my life well beyond my childbirth experience.

I’d also like to give my own advice regarding natural labors—take it with a grain of salt.

• Do all you can to prepare your mind and body for childbirth (before and during pregnancy).
• Exercise.
• Eat well.
• Do prenatal yoga (I love this DVD found here: http://amzn.com/B000F6Z4L4).
• Practice mindfulness/meditation and breathing (with or without ice). J
• Read lots of POSITIVE birth stories; don’t let anyone tell you scary ones.
• If you decide to go natural, be careful whom you tell. It seems everyone tries to dissuade you, thinks your crazy, or has some horror story to tell you.
• Have a good support person (husband, doula, labor and delivery nurse, etc.) that can labor with you, not just be in the same room as you.
• Read chapter 6 and 7 from Mindful Birthing.
• Have a written birth plan; discuss with caregiver and take with you to hospital to discuss with nurse and other birth attendants.

Based on the stories I’ve read, it seems women tend to be more pleased with their childbirth experiences when they have taken the time to make a plan and choose a caregiver that can do their best to make that plan a possibility. Sometimes this meant that laboring women (and husbands) had to firmly tell nurses “no” to some practices. My cousin, who is a nurse in labor and delivery, told me to do whatever I wanted and not let the nurses boss me around. Our childbirth educator taught to ask questions about the benefit and drawback of everything the nurses and doctors want to do. This will help you make informed choices given the circumstances, instead of feeling like an object or patient being tugged around.

When I decided to go natural, I committed to it 100% and began preparing and practicing for it throughout pregnancy. I really think that is what made the most difference in my two childbirths.

*******

Book Reviews

I don’t see it absolutely necessary to read all these books; however knowledge is power. I'm glad I read them. Here are my two-cents about the books I read, for what it’s worth.

• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin
• This was the first book I read. I think it gives good perspective, but it is clearly pro-midwife. LOVE that about 1/3 of the book is birth stories. Also love that Ina May shows her own research and statistics. Perhaps it's a little dated as some of the practices she warns against are not commonly practiced today.
• Birthing a Better Way: 12 Secrets for Natural Childbirth by Kalena Cook
•  I would almost recommend this book to any pregnant woman. It’s not anti-epidural, but pro-informed choice. Also includes many birth stories and tips for having a natural birth in our epidural and c-section heavy hospitals.
• Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England
• If you are a sentimental person or have really difficult feelings to work through with a previous childbirth, this may be the book for you. Pam England has her classes do a lot of visual representations on past childbirths, fears and hopes of future childbirths. It’s interesting to read through those and to see samples of that “artwork.” It also has some good meditation/breathing-type techniques, as well as good information on tips for laboring and pushing.
• Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
•  I only skimmed this one. Found it to be similar to her other book, but more birth stories and kind of more her history of how she came to be a midwife and kind of a how-to.
• Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond by Nancy Bardacke
•  By far my favorite. Although I almost stopped reading it. It’s definitely based more on mindfulness, aka meditation in general, but ties it directly to childbirth. I was about to stop reading it when I got to chapter 6 on pain and fear, which I referred to previously. I LOVED that chapter. So much insight; I enjoyed sharing much of that with Sam. Chapter 7 was great, too. It also has some great yoga information, and tips for parenting mindfully. I found some of the book to be trite and at times just plain silly; however, I’m pretty sure I’m going to purchase this book and read it again; I might even try out the guided meditation audio. And not just for my next baby—for real-life stuff.

She's So Adorable: 1 Month Update

Isn't she darling?

We all have loved these last few weeks with Sapphire. Winston can't stop kissing her. To me, she's growing way too quickly; Sam loves his little girl, although he's excited for her to get bigger.

At birth Sapphire was 6 lbs 12 oz, 19 inches.
At 10 days she was 7 lbs 1 oz, 21 inches (they probably measured length wrong in the hospital...2 inches growth in 10 days is unlikely).
At 1 month she is 8 lbs 12 oz, 21 1/2 inches.

This week she moved out of newborn sized diapers, under-onesies, and pajamas; newborn outfits still fit, however (why is sizing always weird?). I wish she'd stay teeny-tiny for just a little bit longer, but alas.

She's been a delightful baby. I think she's easier than Winston was not because Winston was hard, but because she's more content, nurses better, and sleeps longer at night. Plus, now we've done the baby thing before AND she takes a binkie (which I have mixed feelings about...).

I haven't been able to rest, relax, and nap as much this last month as I did when Winston was born (the preschool Winston is much more demanding of my time and focus than newborn Winston was, it seems). Thankfully, though, I recovered remarkably quickly. I started doing yoga 1 week after baby was born and jumped back into Zumba classes 2 weeks after baby. I gained 30 pounds during pregnancy and have only 8 more to go. I have really enjoyed being off work, even if stay-at-home-mom work is exhausting and sometimes tedious.

She's starting to smile--even real, non-reflex smiles; we love them! I really could just snuggle and smooch her all day long.

Happy Halloween!

I Heart The Moby Wrap

And my baby, of course.

Baby In, Baby Out

I saw an idea similar to this on Pinterest a while ago, but I forgot about it until after the baby was born. So, I used the latest photo I had and modeled it after that. It's fun to see. And as small as Sapphire is, it's still amazing to think she fit inside.

PS Aren't those mum flowers beautiful?