Tough Stuff: Joy of Less Part 4

I want to mention a few things about these Joy of Less posts.

•  I am not trying to summarize the book, though I am using some of its points to add to my own opinions and experiences. The book offers much more—I recommend for you all to at least skim it (I skimmed a lot of it). I look forward to following the author’s website to see what other insights I can gain.
• I don’t claim to have all the answers about decluttering, and frankly, there are no wrong or right answers. That’s the beauty of it all.
• I’m lucky to have a husband that agrees with my decluttering, with perhaps a few disagreements about what I keep and vice versa. My grandparents are probably the most extreme couple I’ve ever known when it comes to keeping and cleaning. My grandpa kept EVERYTHING, while my grandma keeps only small amounts of what she needs. I remember hearing about how my grandpa waited until Grandma was away from the house to dig something(s) out of the garbage can. Unfortunately, Grandpa passed away first, and now Grandma really gets to see (and clean and throw out) all he kept and hid from her sight.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I have a few more posts of topics to highlight. Before I do, I want to share some of the questions (some posed by the author, and some I’ve added).

1. If you were to move overseas permanently, what would you take with you? Certainly not your entire house of stuff—especially with baggage fees of today, you would be limited.
2. What are you keeping that you secretly wish would break or get a stain or otherwise become ruined so that you could toss it and no longer have to worry about it?
3.  Is there something you own that you hate, but fear throwing out?
4. Would you want someone else to go through all of your things in an event of your passing or incapacitation?
5. If you had to evacuate your home in a few minutes and never return, what would you take with you?
6. If your house was completely destroyed in a fire, tornado, hurricane—you name it—what things would you buy again to rebuild your home? 

Those questions motivated me to go through each (mostly) drawer, shelf, and box to really ponder upon materialism, and what stuff really means in this life.

BUT I MIGHT NEED IT ONE DAY

I sometimes think, and also know from experience, that it’s nice to keep things around because I might someday use it and it will might save me some money or time. How many times have you thrown something away only to find a need for it the next day? I can think of times, of course, this has happened to me.

So, I’ve been pondering the “might-need-it-some-day” syndrome and thinking about the conveniences of our world. There are a lot of things we don’t really need, and could quite frankly do without. When I teach financial management classes, we talk about needs versus wants and the importance of prioritizing. I often take the class back to our basic needs as humans—air, food, water, and shelter. That’s it.

I’m not advocating selling our homes and buying a tent. Not saying I’m going to give up my washing machine in order to go back to basic needs, but this puts things in perspective. We really don’t need a lot. The majority of the world lives with a lot less. Maybe living with more is a cause of stress—maybe that’s why heart disease is the number one (two?) killer in the USA. Perhaps the secret to health and happiness is living on less—less then we earn, less than can fit in the closet, less than we want to eat, less stuff than we really need in general.

Saw this circulating on facebook, thought it tied in nicely (on so many levels).

Somehow I came across this blogpost—a woman with a “downsizing” journey. I quote her,

“…our possessions carry not only a physical burden, but also a weight on our conscience and excess bulk in our creative thought processes, preventing us from moving forward… During this downsizing evolution of mine, going on for several years now, I have found that (for the most part) my possessions bore me, and that what interests me most is not in the physical realm at all. Instead, I’m fascinated by the absence of things — giving my self space to think, create, and act spontaneously in harmony with the stuff of life, which is simple, free, and weightless.”

Decluttering How-To: Joy of Less Part 3

The best way I know to declutter, based on experience and tips from others, is to do it drawer by drawer, box by box, cupboard by cupboard. One little bit at a time. The author of Joy of Less even suggests going a little beyond, in some cases, such as moving all the furniture out of your bedroom, and only returning what you really want to keep in there. Sounds a little extreme, but she walks you through with examples and then it makes sense (not that I’ve done it yet…).

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Most of the time, however, she recommends to pull whatever it is you are going through out of its context completely to give you a fresh perspective. Pull all clothes out of closet, for example. ALL OF THEM.

At first I thought I could get away from doing so, but then I realized it was too easy to let things stay. At first glance my bathroom drawer looked clutter-free, but after dumping it out it was really a hiding place for all sorts of things I could donate and throw away. Sam didn’t want to pull out his shirts, because he already looked and there was nothing to get rid of. But when I convinced him to put them all on the bed, he threw out probably 7-10 shirts he didn’t wear or had worn out.

Get your stuff out—spread it out on a table, bed, or floor. It’s worth it. Really.

“Decluttering is far more effective when you remove items from usual spots and evaluate them out of context” (Joy of Less, p. 190)

Now it’s time for some serious evaluatin’.  The author states over and over again to only put back what you really want to keep. How do you know what to keep? Remember that things are competing for coveted space in your home (see previous post)—they have to prove they are worthy of taking up square footage in your home—they have to prove they are indispensible.

Here are some tips to evaluate their worthiness and indispensability.

• A TREASURE is something we rely on, cherish, or use on a regular basis. These things we keep.
• Ask each item: Who are you? How do I use you? Note: if you don’t know, chuck it.  How often do I use you? This final question helps determine proper location (more on that later).
• Some items we used to use, or have good intentions on using, but don’t currently use. Rethink what you do, why you do it, and if you want to continue it. Don’t be afraid to make a fresh start.
• Remember that you are not the stuff. Why are you keeping something? To prove you once traveled to Paris or you once were a high school football player? Just because you get rid of the Eiffel Tower paperweight doesn’t mean you never went to France. Tossing the football trophy doesn’t mean you never played football. And remember: you can always take photos of these memory-stirring objects, if you do want to keep them for memory sake.

Okay, okay, so it's a not-so-subliminal comic about how macs rule...
but don't you think the words ring true, anyway?

 So, what about those items we don’t use on a regular basis? “Regular” would probably mean more than once a year (perhaps holiday décor is an exception...still should get some good evaluatin'). Evaluate if it is worth storing. Maybe it would be easier to rent or borrow when needed instead of taking your coveted space.

Consider purging items and enjoying the atmosphere elsewhere instead. For example, maybe some gourmet, hardly-used bake ware could be given away and you could enjoy a lovely patisserie a few times a year instead. Not saying fancy bake ware is useless…just an example. Same could be said of many other things.

Of course, many of the things we decide to toss can be either donated, given, or sold to someone else who might treasure it more than we do. We’ll talk more about gifts and heirlooms later. Thankfully there’s someone who will love our stuff—that can encourage us as we clear the clutter.

Some stuff we can't decide. Put that stuff in a holding zone for a period of time. Within this last week, I've gone back to things I thought I wanted to keep and decided it wasn't worth it. But I had to give me time to really think about it. If it is something you think you will use, put the date on the box and if you don't go back to it within a year, toss it. All of it. You probably really don't need it. Why spend more time and energy fussing over stuff?

Remember, just because it is out of sight does NOT mean it is out of mind. People are less stressed when there is less stuff to stress them.

These are just a few tips from the book that I wanted to expound. The book is sectioned into main rooms in the home and goes through items and activities done in these rooms, providing tips on purging and minimal-izing. I’m really not summarizing the book—just bringing in my own thoughts in relation to some from the book.

Space: Joy of Less Part 2

Space. Isn’t that something humans always seek? That’s part of why the West was settled. That’s why NASA exists, right? That’s why people buy larger homes--for more space.

How many of us feel like we need a bigger house, because we need more square footage—more space? I hear my friends and neighbors talk about space (or lack thereof) often. One thing we don’t really consider is that our stuff takes up space, and when we get rid of it we have MORE space—more square footage. Ah-ha! (I’m thinking of Gru: “Liiight bulb” bwahaha)

When selling your home, real estate agents will recommend to remove some stuff to make it more marketable—to make it look like there is more space. Wouldn’t you love to always have a home that looked bigger and more open?

Then let the decluttering begin! Wahoo!

“By creating space in our homes, we put the focus back where it should be: on what we do, rather than what we own. Life is too short to waste fussing over stuff.” (Joy of Less, p. 36)

The author of Joy of Less described her bedroom. In it is only a mattress for a bed. Not even as much as this photo.

At first I thought that was ridiculous. She downsized her wardrobe and used some creative closet storage to contain the rest of it in her closet. She reads in other areas of the house, so no need for a nightstand. Bedroom is sleep time--no need for anything more.

While reading the book, I kept thinking “I’m not that extreme, but there are some good ideas in the book, so I’ll keep reading.” Now that I’ve finished, this minimalist bedroom description is what sticks in my head the most. And the more I think about it, the more I LOVE IT!

In fact, I plan on buying some closet hanging-type storage to put things like socks and underwear in the un-used space between the bottom of my clothes and the top of the shelves beneath them. Then I can get rid of my dresser drawers, too! I’d have that much more open space!

But really, what do you think of that idea? What emotions come to mind when you think about this image being your bedroom?

Sometimes empty space bothers us—and we feel the need to fill it. But think how nice it would be to open and close a closet or pantry or cupboard or drawer (you pick) and find SPACE inside—and not something falling on you. Think how nice and quick it would be to pick out an outfit, because the only clothes you own are those you like and wear frequently. Think how easy it would be to open a drawer and not have to shove stuff back in order to close it. Or think how much less stressful it would be to find something really quickly, because you’re not sorting through tons of stuff trying to find it.

Aww, I like the sound of space. And the look of it, too. I’m really getting addicted to feng shui and minimalist inspiration. I think I’ll start a board on pinterest.

In the mean time, ponder upon the quote above in bold. Life really is too short to fuss over stuff. How much time do you spend fussing over your stuff?

Declutter Bug: Joy of Less Part 1

I have the declutter bug.

And it all started because I read this book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide: How to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life by Francine Jay.

Well, maybe my declutter bug started with a comment from my sister-in-law who mentioned how much stuff we (Americans) have, after visiting Brazil and staying with people who have very little, but are so happy and so generous.

Why do we have so much stuff? And why is so much of it really just plain silly to actually keep and store? We can all get by on much less.

Maybe my declutter bug started when I moved to college and realized I didn’t have money to shop, and other than food and textbooks, I really didn’t need to shop, anyway. Or maybe I got the declutter bug when I started taking serious classes in family finance and realized I had major goals to accomplish (like paying off Sam’s student loans before they came due and never going into consumer debt). That’s motivation to avoid shopping-for-fun.

And during this time, I moved countless times (9-ish) from apartment to apartment to finally a home, and all that while we chiseled down on stuff we were sick of moving, and stuff we found we never used since we last packed it.

Now, I wasn’t always good at decluttering. Oh boy. I think it took until I was 15 to actually have a clean room. And that meant I could walk from my bed to my door without stepping on anything. My walls were always decorated with everything and anything, as well as my dresser top, desk top, window sill, etc., etc. I definitely had clutter.

Our "stuff" after unloading our uhaul in our previous apartment, a few years
ago. Most of what you see here was crammed in our 2nd bedroom

During the first 5 years of our marriage, we got good at purging! But probably better at re-organizing and re-shifting. Our last two apartments before our home had two bedrooms. The second bedroom only had our stuff in it. Stuff taking up the entire closet, stuff on shelves from floor to ceiling. Stuff. Stuff. STUFF! And to think how much time I spent un-doing our puzzle of stuff to find a more efficient way to fit in all the pieces so I didn’t feel like it was going to topple on me. What a waste of time (especially because a lot of that stuff we have since tossed)!

Okay, confession time. We moved into our house not quite two years ago. And we haven’t really done much purging. In fact, all of our stuff filled (almost) our four bedroom house (not to mention we have a living room AND a family room…which none of our apartments could boast). And we’ve acquired more stuff—you know, all that we’re-homeowners-now stuff. And where we did have empty space, it has been really easy to stow stuff.

Then comes a long a new director in my office. He’s from a different office, so he comes with a nice, fresh view of how cluttered crowded to improve our office. He wiggled funds around and did all sorts of things to open the space and clear the clutter, or as he calls it, feng shui-ed it. I spent the last two months decluttering my office. So maybe that’s the true source of my declutter bug.

Then add to that a discussion right after Christmas with a great friend of mine about gifts, and stuff, and organizing, and then she mentioned the book, Joy of Less. All the above things had been ringing in my head for weeks—maybe months and years.

So, I read the book.

And I have the declutter bug. Five fairly large boxes of stuff are waiting to be donated. Junk has been thrown away. Papers have been shredded and recycled. More stuff is on my list of things to sell.

It feels AWESOME.

I’ve read a few decluttering books before, but this one has a unique perspective. Minimalism.

My following posts will tell you more of what I find most noteworthy about the book, and perhaps you’ll catch my declutter bug, too.

Family Photos

I have a handful of friends who have a really good talent with photography. Some do so for a hobby, others for a profession. None really live very close, so it's been tricky. Lucky for us, we headed in the general direction of my friend Candi, and she happened to be available. Also lucky for us, it snowed the night before, so the scenery was nice and clean (albeit freezing!).

Candi sure got some good shots for only 15 minutes worth of freezing. She's only been in the photography business for a couple of months. You can see more of her stuff on facebook or on her blog, http://sweetmomentsbycandi.blogspot.com/

Sunrise, Sunset: Evidence of the Almighty

"...and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." - Alma 30:44

Sunrise, just off Kalanianaole Highway, kind of near Wawamalu Beach Park

Sunrise Yoga

I have now seen both the sun rise and set over the ocean. It's beautiful, and I only wish I had a better camera! It's amazing how photos miss so much of what was really seen and felt.

Sunset, Waikiki Beach

Waikiki Beach is the most populated beach of the ones we visited. People were everywhere, and yet as the sun set, all (mostly) paused to observe the beauty and awe of the disappearing sun. As soon as it dropped out of view, the noise and activity on the beach and sidewalks returned.

Sunset downward facing dog.
In all reality, I wish I had more time and more solitude to really practice yoga
with the backdrop of a sunrise or sunset. That would be awesome.
Maybe next time.

I love silhouette photos.
I think they will be come sunrise/set traditions.

From Shaved Ice & Beaches to Hot Chocolate & Snuggies

Sunday afternoon I was slurping a coconut-pineapple shaved ice to cool down from an ocean-view hike at Diamond Head Crater in Honolulu. 83 degrees outside.

The next day I was snuggling with Sam and a snuggie as close to our fireplace as I could. 23 degrees outside.

My job took me to Honolulu to present at a conference. Due to too many inconveniences, Sam didn't come with me. We were both disappointed, of course. Have you ever noticed that work (or lack thereof) gets in the way of many aspects of life? We either can't do something because work is in the way, or we can't do something because we have no work. And yet work took me to Hawaii. Oh the irony. :)

But, one of my sisters-in-law, Jana, was able to come with me. We had a fun time exploring Oahu, and despite popular belief, there is plenty to do and see in only 4 days, as I will show you in coming posts.

First stop of the trip (not including to the hotel), just off the road in small town Haleiwa.

View driving up H3 toward Honolulu.

Beach in North Shore area.

Flowers at the Laie LDS temple grounds. 

I love vacations, and despite the cold and snow here at home, I'm also very happy to be home.