Month of Love: Hearing "Momma"

I remember a comment from one of my friends on this blog when I announced I was pregnant with Winston. She said, "Being a mom is so fun...well, most of the time." Sam and I talked about how much we both appreciated her honesty, because throughout our married life together, we heard a lot of really fluffy "being a parent is heaven in every way" comments and not so many "this is how it is" comments.

Now that Winston has been with us for almost two years, I still think about that comment. It is a very accurate description of mommy-hood.

Just this morning the little dude was freaking out about a few things. Namely: not wanting to sit in his booster seat to eat breakfast, not wanting me to get in the shower, wanting to watch videos of his cousins Andrew and Jared on the computer all morning long, and wanting "nandy" (candy) so badly you'd think a dog was chasing him.

He has discovered that a high-pitched scream accompanied with "Oww!" usually gets some sort of result, though much to his dismay not exactly what he was hoping. He has been testing those limits a lot the last few days.

This morning I had to take a few breaths, walk out of the room, and come back in ready to comfort. He was mad at me for quite a while, and we made it through with only small freak-outs the rest of the day. At one point I was holding Winston and rubbing the back of his head saying "it's okay...calm down...you'll be okay" and I had to smile to myself thinking that although I was speaking to Winston, the words applied to me, too.

We have moments like these every now and then. He knows what he wants and isn't easily persuaded from it--in so many arenas.

But mostly, being a mom is...well, I can't find a word that accurately describes my feelings about it. It's nothing like I thought it would be, and yet all and more than I could have expected. It's much easier than I expected, and yet very utterly exhausting in ways I hadn't considered. I think all you other moms would agree--it's tough to vocalize or verbalize what it's really like to be a mom.

No matter the pros and cons, on thing's for sure: there's nothing like the smile that appears on my face when Winston wraps his arms around my neck and pats my back or when I hear that little voice say, "Momma."